There's Healing in Sharing Your Vulnerability | Self Healing Journey

Last night, I called my mom breaking down crying.

I was asking what’s wrong with me? Why am I like this? I felt rock bottom again. I felt lost. I felt empty.

How could I feel that when I have a beautiful son, loving husband, a home near the ocean, and so many more blessings? I asked her not to lecture me, but to just listen. To just support. I needed my mom.

She asked me, what are you feeling? Where is this coming from? & I explained I lost it. I lost control. My anger and my temper got the best of me.

I grew up silenced, but I would have outbursts and tantrums. I had anger issues. I wanted to break things. I was subconsciously dealing with experiences that were shamed.

How did I know my anger stemmed from unhealed trauma?

She said, honey, I know how you’re feeling. You have my genes. I still go through what you are dealing with. She saw herself in me. I saw it too. I also saw the beautiful traits from her. Her heart and care. Her will and tenacity. Her selflessness.

I’m a product of my mom, but yet it is my responsibility to heal, to be aware of these patterns so that I don’t share it to my son. I’m learning and it’s so fucking hard to right wrongs.

I’m reparenting my inner child. I’m being more compassionate to myself. I’m being more patient with myself. I’m being more loving to myself. Because this little soul deserves it.

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It’s been over a year since I’ve blogged. I think it’s time again to use my tools to help others and to connect. Thank you for reading and I hope you come back soon.

With peace,

Victoria Dany